~Some beginning to another end~
Another year comes to an end. No brainer. This felt like a set of totally different timelines. I look back at the start; January, February were a different story, not exciting or anything.Bore. Honestly march wasn’t any eventful either, as far as I remember. However April started a saga of events that I don’t think I’ll ever forget it. It’s a story that I never wish to tell anyone but a story that will never wish to forget.
If there is anything I have learned this year is that sometimes we might think we are in control or we are likely to control but it might not turn out that way and another thing is we or maybe just me, don’t ever learn a lesson. Throwing ourselves into an abyss with all the knowledge of the drawbacks and disadvantages. I’ll speak for myself, there is a saying in Hindi ‘ankho deke ke zehar khana’ and let me tell you am very fond of doing this stupidity at times, aware of all the dire consequences yet I’ll go with the flow like a dead fish.
Maybe, my lonely self seeks crazy stories to write about later, but that costs me my mental health and whatever is left of it. My social life isn’t that great, am not an anti-social person neither do I have hard time talking with people. But my social skills aren’t what we are talking about here.
I learned a few things about people this year, promises come with an expiry date. What someone said during a certain time period might not last long enough. I guess people change, their circumstances change or perhaps their feelings for you. It’s all too complicated to write out without spilling too much tea.
Also, we chase things that are beyond our hold. Maybe it’s a human thing, I don’t know; whatever it is, it’s destructive to peace. Knowing that no matter badly you want something, not matter how badly you want things to roll out a certain it can never happen. You can only have it in your imagination, in your dream or in fiction wattpad story.
But looking at the bright side, whenever I have cried over something that wasn’t in my hold, after a few years I came to realisation that this wasn’t something I would have wanted in the long term. Maybe certain things only hurt for certain period or maybe you too change with the passage of time.
Whatever the case is, I hope this time, this helpless feeling too goes away.